


Nightmares

by Make_or_Blake



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, well. mostly happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28565061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Make_or_Blake/pseuds/Make_or_Blake
Summary: “I’m fine.” He wasn’t. They both knew it.Stephen took Loki’s hand so tenderly Loki sucked in a sharp breath. He stepped back a little too fast.“I said I’m fine.”Stephen paused. He looked hurt. Loki couldn’t stand to look at his face, so he didn’t.“Loki, I-“ he cut himself off. Loki still wouldn’t look at him. “Loki, Please. Don’t push me away.” He stepped closer. “It won’t work. I want to be here, or I wouldn’t be so just…” He sighed running his hand through his hair. Loki watched as he pushed the strands back only for them to fall forward again. “Let me help you. Please.”-Continuation of my fic Now and Then. If you want to read it out of context thats fine it wont make much of a difference.
Relationships: Loki/Stephen Strange
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> TW: general depiction of PSTD symptoms- anxiety, references to nightmares, negative thought patterns. pushing loved ones away.  
> Stay safe :)

Loki wasn’t one to show his weakness, or god forbid his fear. Better to pretend he didn’t feel anything and watch as everyone he knew grew to hate him. Then keep pretending because it hurt too much to look at the people he’d loved and see their pain, their hatred. That was more than likely the reason he hadn’t spent more than a minute talking to Thor in over a month. It hurt too much. Everything hurt too much. It hurt to breath. It hurt to think.

Loki stared down at the glass of water in his hand. He froze it without thinking and watched the ice creep inwards, crystalline and jagged as the whole glass froze over. The moonlight made the ice appear to be glowing. The curtain swung in the breeze. The window Loki opened, allowed the cool breeze to permeate the kitchen. He felt like he was suffocating.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. His time with Thanos happened years ago. He was safe now. Thanos was _gone._ If there was a reason for his fear before then there surely wasn’t now. Why when he was safe, when he had been for months, did it still seem his psyche was still being _invaded?_ It didn’t make sense. _Everything hurt._ He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He could just _remember._ He didn’t want to remember. He couldn’t. _It hurt._

“Loki?” And then there Stephen was. A piercing light through the darkness consuming Loki. More beautiful than the moon shining over Loki’s shoulder. Loki was sure he looked absolutely ethereal. “What’s happening?”

Stephen couldn’t know. He couldn’t live without Stephen and if he found out-Loki couldn’t let him find out. “Nothing.” Loki’s magic flared and the glass in his hand shattered. Stephen jumped. Loki stared at the shattered ice and glass now on the floor. Loki vanished the ice. At least he had that much control.

Stephen was by his side. Loki didn’t realise he’d moved.

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t. They both knew it.

Stephen took Loki’s hand so tenderly Loki sucked in a sharp breath. He stepped back a little too fast.

“I said I’m fine.”

Stephen paused. He looked hurt. Loki couldn’t stand to look at his face, so he didn’t.

“Loki, I-“ he cut himself off. Loki still wouldn’t look at him. “Loki, Please. Don’t push me away.” He stepped closer. “It won’t work. I want to be here, or I wouldn’t be so just…” He sighed running his hand through his hair. Loki watched as he pushed the strands back only for them to fall forward again. “Let me help you. _Please.”_

“I don’t need help.”

Stephen started to say something.

“Don’t quote a textbook.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“And they call me a liar.” Loki’s lips quirked up, just slightly and it made Stephen’s heart clench painfully in his chest. He would’ve done anything for Loki in that moment. Or any other.

“Would you stop looking at me like that?”

“I can’t help it.” Stephen took Loki’s hand again and when he didn’t pull away Stephen thought it was a good sign. “You smiled.”

“I did not.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” Stephen was smiling so sincerely it hurt. Loki suddenly felt like if he didn’t kiss Stephen right then, he might never get the chance again and that was all the mattered. He held back, because he didn’t deserve to have Stephen, and he knew it.

“Maybe not for you.”

“Okay.” Stephen let out a breath. “So tell me why it’s a bad thing.”

“You’re not going to let up, are you?” Stephen only smiled. “Nothing happened. I’m fine. I just had an unpleasant dream. Nothing more.”

“Loki, we both know it’s more than that.”

“I’m under no obligation to share anything with you, Strange.” Loki’s biting tone hit harder than he thought it would. He regretted it the second he saw Stephen’s expression. “Stephen, I didn’t- I don’t mean that.”

Stephen shook his head and dropped Loki’s hand. Loki sucked in a breath. It hurt to breathe again. Stephen noticed. The hurt left his face in an instant, replaced by concern. He reached out to take Loki’s hand again. Loki was the one to pull away then.

“You should go.” Loki’s voice was far less level than he’d wanted.

“No.”

“What?”

“No. I’m not leaving you. You’re hurting. Don’t deny it I can tell. I’m not leaving. You can lash out as much as you want. I’m staying here until I know you’re okay. You know how stubborn I am. Try and stop me.”

Before Loki had time to think, to tell himself he didn’t deserve any of this, he was kissing Stephen. He was so completely in love he could almost forget how much everything hurt. Stephen stumbled back with the force of it, but he was kissing back just as hard, and just as in love. Stephen’s arms were around Loki, holding on exactly the right amount of too tight. Loki found himself with a hand on Stephen’s jaw and one holding the material of his shirt too tightly, like he was scared Stephen might slip away any second. He was. Stephen had a hand tangling it Loki’s hair. Maybe he was scared too.

**Author's Note:**

> Being that the nature of this series is just,,, random drafts i have please ignore anything that doesnt make sense lol im too lazy to explain/fix anything. i hope you enjoyed none the less.


End file.
